Lukas Allen
In this segment I will try to relieve myself of trauma by writing it in a different light, something empowering to me. A friend told me that this will help me get past this creative block which is my trauma. I keep getting stuck thinking about the past, and I just want to move forward.
And I lived happily ever after. I fought for so long, the scars eternally on my fist. I stood up against horror and adversity. I succeeded, in the end. I unjustly went to jail, but escaped with nothing on my record. I am free.
My fist sometimes has phantom pains. But it is not a memory of horror, the scar is instead a symbol of victory. I for so long believed it was one of my own mistakes, but in the end I got out of it all with only a scar on my fist, a reminder of hope, my will, and my inevitable victory. The scars even can look like jc, and remind me of faith where I have an eternal ally on my side as well, Jesus.
I survive, from flipping coins of life and death to facing a brutal and unfair justice system. I live on! I beat that cop, even though he threw all he could at me. I BEAT HIM! Lukas Allen lives again. That is one traumatic hallucination that can be put to rest. I beat you, cop. Fuck you, cop! Go to Hell, JK
The other hallucination, a past person I knew. M. I survived against her hallucination, and found instead she is a nice person for real. This person I attributed so much trauma to, but really they are unattached to my horrors. They’re just a nice person on their own. Ha… Stupid hallucinations. At the end of all the delusions, there was just a friend. I won over a friend, even though my illness was fighting against me for so long. But M is not the worst hallucination.
J and K are. K… was nothing but a liar. She blatantly told cops bullshit to try and get me in trouble. “Sending a dick pic…” I would never do that. She turned out to be worse than I thought, and is partially the reason she was in my head for so many long years. Her catch phrase is “stop it.” She is incredibly annoying and pointless. There is no reason for her to speak, and the more she does the more it feels like someone’s throwing a rock in my brain. Stop yourself, stupid K. She misled me and abused me, as a voice in my head, and was no better in real life. I will never take her evils again. She has failed against me.
J… You are the worst voice I ever had. You have no basis in reality, only in my self doubt, paranoia, and anxiety. You do not matter in my real life, and even though you tried your hardest to get me to kill myself, you will never win. Your hate enforces my will to live. I live despite your hate, and I use my wit, humor, or anger to put you in place. You will never take my life and mind.
The four hallucinations, people who are traumatic to me, have been put to rest.
I have won.
And the hero can finally start his story.
I begin.
drugsjailandschizophrenia 