I’ve been sort of lackadaisical continuing my blog. It’s tough reliving some of these moments. It doesn’t always have to be about my experiences though. I can write about anything. Let’s go into my past again today, however.

I was taken back to the county jail. When there I wasn’t thinking straight, but I was thinking a little better. My stuff was taken from me and I had my fingerprints taken. I was taken to a cell with a bunch of other prisoners who were waiting to be processed. There was a toilet and a bench. I just sat there quietly listening to the other prisoners. One was eighteen too. He had been stealing from unlocked cars. I sat and waited. Eventually, after a long while we were given mats and told that we would be sleeping together in a nearby cell. I think there were four of us. It was already nighttime by then. We all slept on guard. It took a while to trust someone enough to sleep within six feet of them, especially in somewhere like jail. Thankfully they told us they had some empty beds and would be taking us to them. We packed up our mats and went with the guards.

I was taken to population. There a bunch of people are in an open enclosed space with cells lining the walls. Apparently there had been some sort of fighting going on recently and all the inmates were shouting stuff to each other. It was a lock down. I went to the bars of my cell and said, “I’m Balthazar, and I’ll eat your face off!” They kept on shouting things. My cellmate, Pete, tried to calm me down. He sang songs to me in the bottom bunk. I was a little wary of him but his singing helped calm me. He sang some sort of RnB.

The next day the cellmates did all sort of things. Mostly they paced, played cards, shaved their hair, talked, exercised, or did whatever. I also exercised. I did pushups and sit-ups. Most of the time I brushed my teeth. It was a habit I got into. Maybe a nervous habit, but even though in the midst of my delusions, I wasn’t really nervous. It was a weird feeling. I was calm in my delusions, even though everything was horrible to me. Brushing my teeth was a weird way to cope. I stayed in my cell most of the time, even though the door was open. I tried sleeping. Some inmate kept on going in my cell to look out the window, and that annoyed me. I wanted to tell him off, but he left soon after. He kept on doing that though when I was trying to sleep. To counteract this I sat at the desk by the window and looked out. While I was sitting some inmate, probably the one who I said I would eat their face off to, threw some wet toilet paper into my cell. I picked it up and threw it out, saying, “Take it back!”

I watched some people playing cards. Someone got three sixes and that triggered a delusion. He must be a devil too. I walked around in a circle with the other inmates. People just said stuff in this circle. We walked around the whole room. I sang something about Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer snorting coke.

I called my parents from the phone. There was this long number you had to remember if you wanted to make a call, your inmate number, and you had to have money in your account if you wanted to make a call. The phone calls weren’t cheap. I didn’t make good use of the phone this time, instead I raved some sort of delusion to my mom, wanting to know where I was conceived. I don’t know why I said stuff like that. Apparently it’s quite normal for normal people to lose their shit when they get thrown in jail. Normal calm people go nuts the first time they’re thrown in the clink. That’s how it was explained to me by Pete.

The same inmate who threw the toilet paper into my cell said something to the guards. He lied and said I was saying racist remarks. I never said anything of the sort. I don’t know how he thought that. Sometimes people get a little too overzealous about race in jail. I think he just wanted to get rid of me. The cops called me in and said I shouldn’t be saying racist things. They said they’ve seen people get their heads banged on the corners of tables and have their eyes hanging out. I played the fool and just said sorry. I didn’t even try to defend myself. Some part of me told myself to act crazy, and that’s how I would get out of jail. Strange that it sort of worked. Strange that I was also sort of crazy. The cops moved me into a cell downstairs by myself. While there I wouldn’t eat the food. I feared it would be drugged.

The next part is Mordechai. I will be putting everything in order in my book. Keep watch for when I will reveal it! It’s about schizophrenia. I’ve been playing gwent a lot lately, it’s this online card game. It’s a nice distraction. I will continue to write more. Thanks for reading!

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